Jasper's problem
by i-like
Summary: Jasper has a problem remembering things. This leads to some strange actions.
1. Chapter 1

******I do not own Twilight**

**Jasper's problem**

I got up to a feeling I didn't even think possible to have. My whole body felt sore. But how on earth was that even possible. After all I wasn't human anymore and felt pain in extreme situations only.

Alice must have noticed that there was something off for she asked: "Is there anything wrong Jazz, you look worried."

"No, everything is fine, I replied, I just thought I saw a bear outside the window."

Alice looked out of the window so she must have bought my excuse.  
"Well it appears to be gone. I can't hear it either. How was your run, yesterday evening?", she queried. "Were you running through a stream as well?"

"No!?" I said with a questioning look, why would I ." To be honest I couldn't even remember going for a run yesterday evening.

Apparently Alice misread my confusion and thought my voice held an underlying tone of accusation. So her answer sounded rather annoyed: " Jasper don't play dumb with me." She pointed to the ground where my clothes lay in a puddle on the floor.

Suddenly her mood changed and she quickly left the room. I was left dumbfounded as to why but she probably had had a vision about something. So I decided not to ponder on it any longer and turned my attention to my clothes. They were all wet. There was no denying it. Strange thing was as much as I tried to remember anything my mind came up blank. So I would just tell the others I went for a run and went swimming in a sea up by the mountains afterwards. I was too embarrassed to admit I had a problem remembering my whereabouts. It felt like a weakness to me.

But right now I had another problem. I could feel the anger rise exponentially right behind me. I turned away from my clothes and the window to Esme. She was standing at the door getting madder by the second: "... have you done. Jasper Cullen are you even listening to me at all! Start moving right now or I will call Carlisle!" She must have been talking to me for quite some time to be that frustrated.  
Unfortunately I had no idea what I had done to bring my mother to the boiling point like this. But then I could feel her pain just as she turned her gaze to the floor.

Finally I had an idea what she was talking about and picked my clothes off the floor only to discover that the floor beyond them was ruined.

"What have you done to my floor?" , my mother screamed. Luckily there were no neighbours around who could hear her outburst. "What in heavens name possessed you to drop your wet clothes to the floor ?"

I send a wave of calm through the air and told her : " I am so sorry, mom! I went for a swim yesterday and just forgot about the clothes. But don't worry I'll fix it right after school."

"You better do.", she said in a more civilised way and left the room.  
I had no idea this floor meant so much to Esme. It must have been some sentimental value I didn't know about. We had more than enough money to fix it. But of course I knew that you shouldn't destroy things. So why was she so angry with me even though she knew I hadn't done this on purpose. I had no idea.

But right now I had to hurry down the stairs. Alice was waiting for me at the car. She stood there smiling gleefully but I could also feel her concern.

"That was the reason you left so quickly." I stated trying to sound cheerful.

"Yeah, I saw a little cloud on the horizon.", she told me cheekily.

"Couldn't you have told me what was coming. I could have put the carpet over the ruined floor before anyone would have even noticed." I made my voice sound a little bit disappointed.

"No, I thought the others needed a bit of entertainment. Emmet and Edward were very amused. "she continued proudly. "Oh, come on Jasper, I didn't think you would take it this seriously. Normally you have a better sense of humor. The others have already left for school. Hurry up or we are going to be late."

So I put a smile on my face and said ok let's go then.

**Hope you like the story so far. English isn't my first language as you've probably noticed. Sorry for the mistakes. Leave a review to point them out. =)**


	2. Chapter 2

As we were driving towards school I mumbled : "overreacting much, huh."

Of course Alice picked up on that :"Jazz, I think Esme has a right to act this way if you don't respond to her immediately. She was pretty patient with you but you didn't react.

"I was lost in thoughts, I guess." I said.

Now I was puzzled. I hadn't heard anything. Was I going deaf or something. No, that couldn't be right. I had heard Esme but only when I focused my attention on her.

We had arrived at school just in time. Alice making up for the lost time by driving a bit faster than usual. We parted our ways and I left for history. None of my brothers or sisters could see a point in attending this course. At least I had some time of my own to sort my thoughts and to think where I could have gone yesterday evening. But the last thing I knew was that I left for a run in the forest and woke up this morning.

Halfway through the hour I was feeling that my eyelids grew heavy and I started to close my eyes. Vampires couldn't sleep. At this particular moment I was very thankful for that because I felt so tired as if I hadn't slept in days. I put my head on the table hiding it behind a tall boy who was sitting right in front of me. I was sure that I would be able to hear the teacher if he was coming towards me and so I lost track of what Mr Mean my history teacher was saying until I heard right next to my ear a loud clap. Mr. Mean my history teacher loomed right over me. He looked angry.  
"Mr Hale even though you might be bored the behaviour you are showing is unacceptable. It is very disrespectful of you. So where is your homework I would like to have it." He told me in an expecting tone.

Great I was obviously not able to hand anything in.

"I'm sorry I have forgotten my homework at home. I will turn it in tomorrow." I told him.  
"Well, I didn't expect anything else of a student who is that careless.", he replied with a smug grin. He was studying my face waiting greedily for any kind of reaction.  
Sometimes I thought that for some teachers it was way more important to terrorize the bad students than teaching itself. I felt a tiny bit of disappointment coming of him. I probably should have shouted out to him or reacted in another way, so he had a reason to continue. I wasn't very impressed. With my experience of life such an unimportant conversation wouldn't spoil my day. Any other student would have been worried though.

The lesson was over. It was time for lunch and soon I would be sitting at my usual table. I needed to keep my real sorrows hidden from Edward and so I kept replaying Mr Mean's words in my head again and again.

It worked. Edward called out to me: "Hard day at school, huh. That's exactly the reason why I chose politics instead. "

"Yeah, I still like history just don't like the teacher ." I said

He just smiled in response. I sat down waiting for Alice and Bella to return with trays of unnecessary food.  
Bella was just about to open a can of coke when she hissed out in pain. She had cut her finger. A fresh drop of blood made its way down her finger slowly . Edward shot an aggressive glance in my direction telling me he was ready to fight if necessary. But then his expression changed. He looked at me surprised as if he couldn't believe what I was thinking.  
Normally my throat would have been on fire. The strong scent of any human blood would have driven me crazy. It was as if blood had lost its appeal to me.

Luckily the bell came to my rescue and prevented any further investigation of my unusual reaction towards blood.

The next few lessons passed by quickly. Alice had already started the car and was waiting for me at the other side of the street. I started jogging towards her. She looked horrified and screamed at the top of her lungs to stop. I didn't know what she wanted but I didn't care. I just wanted to get home as quickly as possible.  
Suddenly I felt something hit my side. Flying through the air I noticed I had been hit by a car. I wanted to brace myself for the impact but it was too late. I hit the tarmac before I could do anything to protect myself.


	3. Chapter 3

The driver of the car came storming towards me. "I am so sorry. I didn't see you coming. You just came out of nowhere." he called out to me.

Alice tried to stop him from running towards me. What would happen if the man discovered I wasn't bleeding at all? She didn't succeed.

The man started kneeling down next to me making sure that I was breathing. He told Alice to call an ambulance. I was too shocked to even lift a finger. I will go down in history as the first vampire who managed to get hit by a car. That is nothing to be proud of.

He took my head into his hands and started kissing me? Then it dawned on me. I forgot to breathe. Oh no the man must think i wasn't breathing. I took one big gulp of air and started to breathe again. The man looked solemnly into my eyes. After he made sure my breathing was alright, he checked me over for any broken bones. I moaned out in pain as he touched my hip. It didn't really hurt me when he did but I needed to deceive that man into thinking that I was human. It seemed I was doing a good job so far for Alice seemed genuinely concerned and said soothingly: "It will be alright Jazz. It will all be over soon." She seemed very upset and I was sorry that I couldn't tell her that I was alright. I would have taken the greatest pleasure in walking away from the scene of the accident but I was the victim. If I got up and did as if nothing was wrong I would arouse even more suspicion for other students were gathering around us.  
Then the man touched my leg and this time it really hurt. I hissed out in pain and looked down at my leg. It hadn't healed yet and was sticking oddly away from my body. In a way I was thankful that I had received a real injury. Now everybody watching would belive that I was hurt.

The paramedics had arrived. They asked me if my leg hurt and gave me something for the pain. It made me drowsy.  
When I woke up I was lying in a hospital bed. Alice was sitting next to my bed and told me: "Carlisle put your leg back into place and a nurse put a cast around it. "  
I had a private room but Carlisle was nowhere to be seen.  
Alice noticed my confusion and said : "Carlisle had to take care of another patient but he will be back shortly."

After that Alice didn't say a word. I could feel that she was very upset and if she could have cried there would have been tears in her eyes.  
"Shh, darling. I'm okay. No need to worry about me. I just had to pretend that I was hurt. Otherwise people would have started talking. I wasn't willing to take that risk. I wanted our family to be safe. You never know how rumours spread. We are attracting enough attention already and I don't want to leave Forks so soon."  
"You are right, Jaz. But I was worried nonetheless." Alice said. I could feel that she was starting to calm down.  
Suddenly the door opened and Carlisle entered the room. He smiled as he saw that I was awake.

"I see you are doing better already. " he stated with a grin on his face.  
" Yes, indeed." I replied "I think I am ready to get out of here. If you could just take off the cast I will be gone."  
"I'm afraid you will have to wear that cast for at least a month. Maybe even longer." he answered.

"Well, we have to keep up human appearances." Alice giggled beside me.  
Carlisle smiled from ear to ear. "Are you secretly competing with Bella. Whoever is the clumsiest person gets a price." but he continued in a more serious voice " Jasper, how could this happen. I have never heard of a vampire being in an accident like this and believe me I have had a long life. Just tell me, is there something wrong son? Is anything bothering you?"

His light brown eyes locked with mine. I couldn't lie now. He would be able to tell.  
My heart would have jumped through my chest if it could. But luckily vampires have no heartbeat.  
I hated to show weakness in any way. But now my time to confess had come . This wasn't going to be easy.  
"It all started this morning. You probably heard how Esme screamed at me. I didn't react to her previous words because I just couldn't hear her. I think that was the reason I was in that accident. I didn't hear the car coming." I admitted feeling ashamed.  
Carlisle frowned and asked :"Are you experiencing any other symptoms ?"

Great now I was becoming another case he wanted to solve. That meant he would keep an eye on me for the next days until he knew what was wrong.  
"I was feeling sore when I woke up this morning and I was tired at school. I think I was kind of sleeping at school. If that is possible. " I said hoping to end his questioning. It made me feel uncomfortable. I hated doctors and my father being one didn't make it any easier for me.  
Carlisle seemed to have stopped thinking.  
Jasper I need to take a quick look at your ears. If I am right there might be some water in your ears. So your hearing is a bit impaired. You went swimming yesterday, correct? At least this is what Esme told me.  
" Yes, that's right. Up in the mountains. The lake looked very inviting to me." I replied although I couldn't remember a thing. That was what was really bothering me. But I couldn't tell Carlisle that. It would be too embarrassing. There would be a logical explanation for that. I tried to persuade myself of it.  
Carlisle took a look into my ears and said:" Ah yes. There is some water. I will remove it and your hearing should be back to normal."  
"Is it any better ?"he asked  
"I am not sure. But maybe it just takes time to get used to it" I replied  
Carlisle seemed satisfied with this answer and said: "Let's get home."

Finally the three of us drove home in his black Mercedes.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Esme told me that I should stay home for a few days. That made me really happy. After all no one likes school. Esme would have pampered me like a baby if I let her but I didn't. It was good to know that someone cared about you that much though.  
Unfortunately I had a new problem. In addition to my memory loss I was hearing strange things in my head now. It was a very subtle background noise I couldn't get out of my head. Was I going slightly mad? The mere thought was troubling. Vampires were immune to any kind of physical damage - my leg was perfectly fine - but mental issues I wasn't so sure about.

After I had spent a few hours inside the house I felt the strong desire to go outside. The house didn't feel the same without my brothers and sisters. I decided that I could use the time on my hands to take a walk in the woods. I was certain that if I could find the lake or stream I had been to it would trigger a memory. Then I would be able to fit the missing pieces together and everything would return to normal.

With this in mind I started walking. The first lake I came across didn't seem to be anything special. Neither did the second or third ring any bells. I felt like a fool walking around the woods aimlessly. I was close to giving up. The background noise in my head grew stronger and stronger. I was panicking. I didn't want to be insane. I started running in order to clear my head and reached another lake. I was about to continue running but there it was. It was this feeling I had been hoping for. The place felt familiar to me as if I had been there recently.

That was a good start. I was getting my hopes up again. I sat down on the grass and looked around. Soon I realized that my memory wouldn't reappear as miraculously as it had vanished.

After coming to that conclusion I was devastated and ready to go home when I spotted a little hut. The background noise turned into a voice. The voice inside my head told me to come closer. Well if I was going nuts I could just as well follow my insanity to a little hut at a lake.

I came closer to the hut and was greeted by a family. They were playing outside in the garden. One kid trying to ride a unicycle, the other was juggling with three balls. Around the corner I spotted even more kids. It looked more like a kindergarten to me.  
I was greeted by an elderly woman and all the kids gathered around her.  
One of the children asked whether I wanted to play with them. I told them I got lost in the woods and that my passing by was merely coincidental.

The elderly woman said : "Oh you poor thing you cannot walk back with that foot of yours."  
I had completely forgotten about the cast I was wearing.  
"Come inside and play with us and I will drive you home when kindergarten is finished." the old lady continued.  
I felt as if I couldn't say no to her. You know what people say : You cannot deny an old lady a wish. That was the case here. I sat down and started playing with some of the children.  
One boy painted a large smiley onto my arms. I wasn't good with kids of that age. I didn't want to scare them so I let the boy paint another smiley onto my arm. It didn't take long till other kids joined us and I was becoming a piece of art.

"Children we don't paint on other human beings " the old lady said disapprovingly. " Let's sit in a circle and play a game."  
I was relieved that the kids obeyed.  
"Now I need a volunteer..." the old lady said  
She hadn't even finished her sentence when chaos erupted. "Pick me, pick ." every child in the room was screaming.  
She continued talking " I think it would be polite if we let our guest participate. "  
"Oh no! I wasn't going to do that", I thought. Suddenly all the children looked at me with pleading eyes. They thought it was a great idea. I just couldn't say no.  
All of this felt like a déjà vu to me.  
" So we are going to hypnotise you." the old lady told the children.  
Then she mumbled to me: " At the end of the year the children will perform a little play for their parents. This years theme is: Circus. This is going to be a part of our show."  
I just nodded and tried to play along. I stood in front of her feeling kind of ridiculous. She was waving with strange things in front of me. I didn't pay any kind of attention to her. Her face became a blur. I wasn't able to form a coherent thought anymore.

Suddenly I was standing in the forest. My clothes were soaking wet and ripped. I started to panic. What was I doing alone in the woods. I had lost my mind. I was sure of it. To my surprise I didn't hear any voices or noises inside my head. That soothed me. I was able to think straight now.

I needed to get home. It was already dark. It didn't matter to me that it was pitch black all around me but I wanted to keep this to myself and needed to get home before anybody grew suspicious. The window to my room was open. I jumped up and was inside my room.  
With a fresh pair of clothes I went downstairs just in time to see the others coming through the door. It meant that school was finished for the day.

"What have you done all day, little brother?"Emmet asked me playfully.  
"I just watched TV." I tried to sound casually.  
"Is there any news concerning the robberies?" Alice asked.  
"Not that I know of. But I can turn the TV back on if you'd like me to." I responded asking myself what she was talking about.  
"There have been several robberies in the little town of Forks. Money is missing from shops and even private homes. No shop owners were seriously injured but it remains a mystery how the thief managed to rob the whole town in just one day." said the reporter who was standing in front of an all too familiar high school.

"The local bank is the only place that has surveillance cameras. We are going to show you the video now." the reporter continued.  
Upon seeing the surveillance footage I froze. Everyone looked at me. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  
There in the video it was... - the proof that I had robbed the local bank of Forks.

If I had robbed the bank I was responsible for the other robberies as well.  
The room was silent. You could have heard a pin drop. It was the first time that my family was at a loss for words.  
Emmet was the first to break the silence :" At least you moved so fast that you are just a blur on the screen. The human eye won't be able to tell that it was you."

Carlisle was the next to speak: "Jasper I am very disappointed with you. We agreed that we would never misuse our powers that way. No it's not that easy. Your actions were for any human outright evil. It hurts me to say it but you leave me no other choice than to ban you from my family. You are no longer welcome in my house. Pack your things, go and never return!"

**Thank you for all of your reviews and the time you take reading my story. The next chapter will be the last one. Hope you like the turn the story took. **


	5. Chapter 5

The tension in the room reached its peak.  
I could feel Carlisle's icy gaze on me. Emmet was holding Rose protectively against his chest. Alice was shocked and very upset. I had never seen her that upset in her whole life . The hardest part was seeing Esme. Usually you could feel the love she had for all of her children in the air but instead of love there was just disappointment. There was no love left for me.  
Carlisle directed another question at me : " Do you have anything left to say which might change my mind?  
I was too confused to answer. Me robbing a bank didn't make any sense to me.  
"Defend yourself, Jasper!" Carlisle demanded  
"I don't know." I stammered my voice breaking

All these emotions the pain, anger and disappointment became one enormous wave and came crushing down on me. I was overwhelmed and took one last glance into Alice's tormented eyes. I couldn't bear it any longer and sprinted out of the room. I didn't even bother to open the door.

I ran through the forest. I couldn't comprehend how this could have happened and wanted to forget every second of it. It was too painful to think of it. I reached a cliff and jumped down into the ocean. Perhaps it was all a dream and when I hit the surface it would be over. I had no such luck returned to the beach and jogged back into the forest where I collapsed in an open area. After half an eternity I decided to stand up only to sit down and lean against the next best tree. I put my arms around my knees and rested my head on them.

Whilst running I had been able to keep my dark thoughts at bay which hit me full force now . I had lost my mind and went on a little shopping spree around the well, there is no need to sugarcoat it. I became a criminal.  
The most worrying thing of all, however, was that I had lost the only thing that made my miserable life worth living : My family. Thinking of Esme sent a shudder down my spine. There was nothing that could ever replace my mother and I was sure of another thing: I would never be able to love someone that deeply and passionately like Alice.  
And here was the key issue:It became painfully clear to me that I would be alone for the rest of my life - unloved and never able to love again. The tension inside of me became unbearable and had to do something to relieve it. I opened my eyes and jumped as high as I could. I was flying over the water towards the cliff again not caring whether I would crash into it or not. But something made me stop dead in my tracks. I caught a glimpse of my face in the water. One of my eyes was burning red. I crashed into the cliff with full force. Rocks were splashing into the water.

Still hanging in the air my feet pushed against the cliff with all of my strength and I jumped back to the beach. I studied my reflection in the water. My left eye was brownish but my right eye looked as if it was on fire. I sank to the ground more desperate than ever. I had slipped in my diet and probably killed lots of people. I removed the contact lens from my left eye. Now that I knew it was there it kind of annoyed me.  
I rolled onto my back and let my head tilt to the side. I was defeated and lacked power to continue the fight that was known as life. I would lie on the beach as long as it would take. It was wolf territory anyway. If I stayed here long enough the wolves would see me as a threat and erase my pathetic existence.

Lying on the beach I opened my eyes one last time before they would be closed forever. I was looking at the inner part of my arm. To my surprise I looked into the green eyes of a giant smiley. In this moment of greatest despair this smiley got me thinking again. I studied it intensely. It was asymmetric and lacked accuracy. Its lines weren't clear and straight. It was as if it had been a difficult task for the person whoever gave me that smiley. So if it neither had been a vampire nor an adult who gave me that smiley there was only one choice left : it must have been a child. This was getting ridiculous. I had nothing to do with children. In this moment I started to turn into a big child myself. I felt the unresisting urge to smile back at the smiley and that was the turning point. Suddenly I could think straight again. My memory flooded back to me.  
I was sitting inside a room full of children. One boy was painting a giant smiley onto my arm. When he was finished I smiled at the smiley just as I did a few seconds before. A few moments later an old woman is hypnotizing me and now everything falls back into place. In my mind I see me doing things subconsciously. I am taking orders from that old woman. I am the one who takes a bath with his clothes on in a lake. I am the one who is robbing the bank and lots of private homes and I am the one whose thirst is getting the better of himself. Upon remembering this my stomach is sick. I bit all these people and sucked them out until they fainted. I had lost the last thing that connected me with my family. My lifestyle.  
This was the last blow. I closed my eyes once more this time never to open again.

It took ages till I heard any signs of footsteps. Finally the wolves had found me. Rescue was at hand. Voices were getting closer and then I could hear Edward scream: "Carlisle I can see him! He is lying on the beach!"  
In an instant Carlisle and Edward were hovering over me trying to shake me awake but I felt emotionally drained and was afraid what they would do to me. Now that I knew that I was guilty I was sure that they would punish me in some way. I wasn't going out of this unpunished. That's why I thought it best to pretend to be unconscious.  
"He's unconscious." I heard Edward say  
Then a pair of strong arms picked me up off the floor. I let my head tilt backwards. If I was to be unconscious I had to act that way.  
"Edward, hold his head." Carlisle said.  
As they carried me home I could feel the wind brushing through my hair. I was laid on the couch in front of the TV.  
"I could feel Carlisle touching my body checking me over for any injuries. He stopped at my arm.  
"What is it Carlisle?" Edward asked worriedly "Is he hurt?"  
"No, Edward. So far he seems to be fine. There is a smiley on his arm." Carlisle said sounding kind of surprised  
"Jasper, you've got to wake up, please. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you and I shouldn't have said the things I said."Carlisle continued in a pleading voice  
Carlisle was touching my head now. He was feeling for any bumps on my head.  
"Could you help me turn him on his side, Edward. There is something behind his ear." Carlisle stated  
I was turned to my right side and felt something being pulled from behind my ear.  
"Huh, I didn't notice that when I examined Jasper's ears. What do you think it is?" Carlisle asked  
"Looks like a receiver of sorts to me." Edward said  
Carlisle continued to check my head. He was checking my cheek bones. I was starting to feel guilty. I could feel that both Carlisle and Edward were very worried. A battle was raging inside of me. Should I open my eyes and end their worries or should I pretend to be unconscious. I still wasn't feeling up to a discussion about my behaviour.  
It turned out that it wasn't my decision to make. Carlisle was about to check my eyes. I couldn't let him see them. He would notice that their colour was off. He would know I had drunken human blood. I couldn't let that happen.  
So I mumbled and waved my arms around my head like you would chase away a fly. I was starting to sit up now. I could hear Carlisle say  
"Take ist easy Jasper you have been out for a while."  
I sat up pulled my knees to my chest and started hugging them like before. I tried to let my hair fall over my eyes and stared to the ground. Carlisle kneeled down in front of the sofa trying to make eye contact with me. I closed my eyes. He needed to get away from me or my secret would be exposed. I flinched on purpose when he touched my knee and I heard how he took a few steps away from me.  
"Jasper, are you feeling ok? Are you hurt?" Carlisle asked worriedly.  
"I am fine." I said timidly. Not sure why he was being nice to me. After all he was the person who kicked me out of his house mere moments ago.  
Carlisle who had noticed that he had lost my trust sat down next to me on the sofa and started explaining :" Jasper I am very sorry for my harsh words. I would take them all back if I could but I cannot. I was shocked to see you in this video. To me you were guilty the moment I saw you on TV. I thought you weren't willing to explain yourself when you said you didn't know why you had done it. It was the shock and anger that spoke. I should have taken a moment of time before I talked to you. The things I said were cruel and way out of line. Edward told me that you didn't have a clue why you robbed a bank. He read your mind and found confusion and desperation only. He also told me that you were having a hard time remembering things. I am truly sorry that I didn't support you in your time of need but I am here now and will help you in any way I can. I will find the reason why you can't remember things."

"Charlie has caught the real thieves - an old Lady and her husband. They were just about to leave town when Charlie stopped them for speeding and saw some of the stuff that was missing from the homes on the backseat. It was the driver of the car that hit you." Edward added trying to ease the tension.

"I am aware of the reason. I was hypnotised and did what this old woman instructed me to do." I told them. "I was hearing strange background noises all the time and heard a strange voice in my head. It was telling me to rob the bank and to take everything with me that looked valuable."

"Aha, that is what this little thing behind your ear was used for. " Edward held a small technical device into the air. It looked like an ear-phone but had no cable and was even smaller. "You put it inside your ear and no one will notice the change. It was glued behind your ear. "  
" I recall the woman having a walkie-talkie. It was her voice that gave me the instructions and I thought I was going crazy." I sighed.

Carlisle was still feeling responsible for this whole mess I was in. He has to think I am angry with him because I am not looking at him.

" I don't think any of this is your fault, Carlisle. You shouldn't beat yourself up about it. I will go to the police and turn myself in." I said  
"I should have known better . I should have helped you more." He put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me towards him.  
"I don't think you should go to the police. They have caught the real thieves already and you weren't aware of your actions. Additionally you would go hungry in Jail. I don't think they serve mountain lion there. We would put everyone around you at risk. At some point your thirst would become unbearable and you would slip and kill the humans in your surroundings. Turning yourself in would do more harm than good.  
"But there is something more that is troubling you isn't there." Carlisle continued cautiously.  
I couldn't tell them that I had killed all those people. I was too ashamed.  
"You can tell us Jasper. Whatever it is we will find a solution." Carlisle said  
I couldn't hide this any longer. Sooner or later they would find it out anyway. I turned my head towards Carlisle and looked into his bright brown eyes.  
" I killed all those people. I am the one to blame." I whispered and looked away again.  
"Jasper look at me." Carlisle demanded "You didn't kill any humans. I know this because I treated them at the hospital. Everybody is fine."  
"And I thought there were other vampires in our territory." Carlisle mumbled more to himself than to anybody else.  
I looked into his eyes. They were filled with compassion and understanding.  
"Don't look so utterly miserable. It wasn't your fault that you attacked all those people. You weren't thinking straight and could follow your instincts only. If I would have been in your place I would have given in to my instincts as well. " Carlisle spoke softly  
"That is the reason why you reacted to Bella's blood in such an unusual way. You were overfed already - on the good stuff. " Edward said.  
"I guess I was." I replied

Suddenly the rest of my family stepped back into the room.  
Alice must have seen that I was back again and must have updated them on my condition for they weren't surprised when they looked into my red eyes.  
"Oh, Jasper. I am so glad that you are back." Alice came running towards me hugging me tightly. I leaned into her embrace my heart filling with a warmth that had been missing the last few hours.  
As we let go of each other my family had resumed their normal activities. Esme was running through the kitchen coming towards me. "I am so happy that you are back" she said hugging me as well. I could feel her love again. It was filling every room of the house.  
"That is quite an impression you left at the door there, little brother." Emmet said running down the stairs.  
I looked at him and then at the door and started laughing.

**Hope you enjoyed reading this story. I had lots of fun writing it and tried my best to put the ideas I had into words. Thanks a lot to all those people who reviewed. MW3addict,mysticzephyra,Crazy Female LEPrecon you kept me motivated, thanks so much. =)=) **


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